Found
by PoeticJustice84
Summary: Tag to Missing. If you haven't seen that episode, be warned, this contains spoilers. The aftermath of Missing.
1. Chapter 1

**Found**

Hey, y'all! So, I'm back with something a bit different. This isn't a request, it's something I started a few years ago and never really finished. Well, I recently found it on an old flash drive and decided to tweak it and continue on with it. Hope y'all enjoy it. As usual, please read and review. Your feedback is always welcomed.

Gibbs opened the front door and turned back toward the car. The SFA sitting in the passenger seat looked like death warmed over. He probably felt like it, too. Being drugged, abducted, and forced to carry a marine through a sewer just to survive might have worn him out. Opening the passenger side door Gibbs reached over and unbuckled the safety belt, waiting for Tony to get his feet under him.

"You going to be alright?"

Tony nodded, then winced as his pounding head made itself known again. With that came the nausea and dizziness. Reaching up to cup the kids head in his hands, Gibbs noticed the trembling.

"Just breath, kid. We've got all the time in the world."

Gibbs waited a good three minutes before asked about moving to the house. After getting the go ahead from Tony, the older man hefted him out of the car and into the house. His first stop was the couch. After depositing Tony on the end, he reached up and grabbed the blanket behind the boy and wrapped it around the still shaking shoulders.

"Need anything?"

"No sir."

That was more than a little unsettling for the ex-marine. The smooth-talking Tony he saw every day at work would never sir him. This Tony, with his walls torn down because of the drugs and exhaustion was bound to be more open and vulnerable.

"Well, Duck said you should keep hydrated. How about some tea?"

"I thought you only drank coffee and bourbon, Boss?"

Gibbs smiled softly and smoothed the blanket down the kid's arms. There were several things most people would be surprised to learn about him.

"I do occasionally have guests over, Tony. So, tea?"

"You talked me into it. But I can get it. You shouldn't have to wait on me like I'm an invalid."

Squeezing the back of Tony's neck. Gibbs took in the heat there. Ducky had said there might be a low-grade fever as the drugs worked their way out of the younger man's system. The trembling had eased up some. That was a good sign.

"You've had a hell of a day, son. You're tired, sick, and exhausted, let me take up some of the slack for a while."

Eventually, Tony relented. Gibbs noted the slightly sagging shoulders and stood, headed for the kitchen. As he set about preparing the tea, he couldn't help but sigh with relief. Tony was home and safe. He could relax now. He would never tell Kate this, but he'd been beside himself with worry the whole time the fool kid was gone. Tony had to know that, right? Well, the comment to McGee had been insensitive, but Tony knew he cared, didn't he?

"Well, Jethro, if you're having to question that, then your answer is no."

Why did his voice of reason sound like Ducky? Was the old M.E. that much of a fixture in his life? Who was he kidding? The whole team was a huge part of his life and Tony had somehow landed himself smack dab in the middle of it without even trying.

Pouring the water into the teacup, Gibbs spooned a dollop of honey into it before grabbing his coffee and heading back to the couch. Setting his own cup down, Gibbs made sure Tony's hands were steady before he let go of the other cup. Noticing the strange look he was getting from his SFA, Gibbs sat back and assessed the situation.

"You're freaking me out, Boss. Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Are you implying that I'm _not_ nice to you?"

"Yes. No! It's just weird. People are usually annoyed with me. You're usually annoyed with me."

Gibbs sipped his coffee and thought about that for a while. He was impatient, sure. He was demanding, but only because he knew how great Tony could be. What had given Tony the impression that he was annoyed with him?"

"I'm sorry. I talk too much. I'd probably barely tolerate me, too."

Gibbs stood and moved to the coffee table in front of Tony, then sat again. He needed to be eye level with Tony for this. He couldn't afford Tony's doubt right now. Not for this.

"Tony, look at me."

Once the bright green eyes were focused on him, Gibbs continued.

"I don't know why you assume I barely tolerate you, but I am sorry if I ever gave you that impression. You don't annoy me, either. I think you are one of the most incredible agents I've ever worked with. I just keep waiting for you to see that."

Gibbs watched as the little speech sank into Tony's muddled brain. The kid still looked like a lost little boy, though. Who had put that look on Tony's expressive face?

"Wow! These drugs must be amazing! I thought you just apologized."

"Are you finished with your tea?"

"Umhm."

"Then it's bedtime. Come on, the guest room is already made up."

Gibbs helped him up the stairs and into the pajamas Abby had sent with them, then into the bed, tucking the covers around him.

"I'm glad I showered before we left NCIS. I'm so tired now, I don't think I could manage now."

"Can you manage some sleep?"

"Maybe. I just keep thinking about something my father said to me when I was a kid."

"Yeah? What was that?"

Tony flipped over onto his stomach and sighed deeply, closing his drooping eyes.

"He said I'd end up in the gutter. And today I proved him right."

Gibbs closed his eyes and counted to ten before he said anything. Cupping the back of Tony's head, he leaned closer.

"You most certainly did not prove him right. You did your job to an outstanding extent. You saved Atlas and helped solve a case. You kept you and Atlas going when he wanted to give up. I'm so sorry he said that to you, kid. He was wrong."

"I don't know if he was."

Before Gibbs could say anything else, Tony was asleep. Not wanting to wake him, Gibbs tucked the blankets around him a little tighter and grabbed a blanket from the hall closet. Pulling up the overstuffed chair that sat in the corner of the bedroom, he eased down into it and made himself comfortable as he propped his feet up on the bed. He had a feeling he was in for a long night.

"I'm right here, Tony. You're safe now, son."

 **I do not own NCIS or its characters. I just like to play in their sandbox from time to time. Do Not Sue Me. I have nothing but Bills and Pets. You can't have the pets.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Found Chap. 2**

Gibbs took the pan out of the oven and left it to cool on the stove as he took the bacon, eggs, and gravy to the table. He didn't know if Tony would be able to eat anything yet, but it couldn't hurt to entice him a little. Besides, he was sure Tony hadn't eaten in a least 24 hours, the kid needed something in his stomach. If the rich breakfast was too much for him, there was watermelon and cantaloupe in the refrigerator. Or maybe some toast would be better? Either way, Tony would be fine.

Once the biscuits were cool enough to move, Gibbs plated those up as well. Refilling his coffee, he heard the tell-tell signs of Tony coming down the stairs.

"Right on time, DiNozzo, as usual."

Waiting for Tony to appear in the kitchen, Gibbs leaned up against the counter and sipped his black coffee, thinking about all the times Tony ragged him about his nasty coffee. It was never taken too far though, Tony just like to poke fun.

"Well, you certainly look better this morning."

Tony ran his hand through his still disheveled hair and grinned. He looked a mess, but he was much more alert than last night. Still, he had already called Ducky to come check the kid out. He wanted to be sure Tony was physically fine. The horrible cocktail that been coursing through his veins just hours before could have terrible side effects.

"Want some breakfast?"

"I'm actually starving."

"I'm not surprised. When did you last eat?

"Day before yesterday. I picked up a pizza on the way home from work."

"A pizza? Ducky's hearing about this."

"Great! He already rides me about sleeping."

"He cares, Tony. If he didn't he wouldn't gripe at any of us about how our bad habits affect us."

"I know. It's just odd, having people care about what I do. I've never really had that."

Tony clamped his mouth shut and shook his head.

"I don't know why I keep telling you this stuff. I'm sorry. I guess whatever was in my system is making me wonky."

"It's okay. You can tell me anything and I won't judge you."

"Isn't that what I've been doing since you brought me back here last night?"

"I guess it is. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable telling me anything. I'll listen, Tony, I promise."

"I gotta call Abby. She's gonna wanna to do some tests."

"On what?"

"You. You're acting strange, Boss."

"I'll have Ducky check me out when he gets here."

"Why is Ducky coming over?"

"I want him to check you over again."

"Do I get a say in any of this?"

"Not until I'm completely sure you're alright."

"Ooookay."

"Finish your breakfast. I'll be right back."

Gibbs picked up his coffee cup and headed up the stairs while Tony ate. He really needed to give the team an update on Tony. Now was the perfect time to do that. Sitting on the bed, he reached for the phone and dialed the number that rang through to his desk at NCIS and waited.

After assuring the rest of the "family" that Tony was not fine, but well on his way, he headed back down stairs to find Tony finishing up the dishes.

"Abby's coming over later to see for herself that you're alright."

"She's gonna smother me. I know she means well, but I'm just not used to it."

"I'm starting to get that."

Gibbs started drying the dishes and placing them back in the cabinets. It was probably freaking Tony out, but damn it, he just wanted to be close to the kid. He was still convincing himself that Tony was here and safe.

"Ducky said he'd be over in a few minutes."

"Awesome. More smothering. I'm sorry, that's rude. I'm being an ass."

"I think it's expected somewhat right now. Come on, let's go over what you remember from yesterday."

"Sure. Although, it won't be much."

"That's okay. I just need a statement. Besides, Ducky thinks your memory will come back slowly after all the drugs are out of your system. We can always amend the statement then."

Tony paced the living room as he went over what little he could recall of yesterday. Gibbs watched him become more frantic as he tried to remember the blanks in his day.

"Tony, call down, bud. This doesn't have to be perfect. We'll get there in time. Ducky's here anyway. Let him look you over."

Gibbs watched as Tony plopped down onto the couch and tried to calm down. Gibbs sat beside him and started rubbing his back in soothing motions. The older man doubted if anyone had ever done this for the boy.

Noticing that Ducky didn't bother to knock, Gibbs grinned inwardly.

"Let's have a look at you, dear boy. I must say, you seem much better than the last time I saw you. That's good to see."

"I feel better. Not as detached or unhinged."

"Your pupils are back to normal I see. Any troubling other than the residual effects?"

"Not really. I just hate that I can't remember."

"Well, that should get better in the next few days. You may never recall everything, but most of it should come back to you in time."

"Yeah, well, I don't have that kind of time."

Gibbs stood and headed for the kitchen for a refill of coffee."

"He really should limit his caffeine intake, but that's like telling the stars not to shine. Now, Anthony, don't push yourself and overdo it for a while. I know you, so when your body tells you to rest, do it. If you feel odd, let me know. Other than that, I think you should be just fine in a few days."

"Thanks Duck."

Patting his shoulder, the old M.E. headed to the kitchen.

"Jethro, the boy should be fine given some rest and a little TLC. I know he's not accustomed to such, but you'll just have to deal with that. Everything happens for a reason, Jethro. Remember that conversation we had about him? This is your chance. Don't waste it."

"I don't plan to, Duck."


	3. Chapter 3

**Found Chap. 3**

It took some convincing, and Abby agreeing to stay the night before Tony finally gave in and stayed. Something about overstaying his welcome or some such bullshit. Hell, Gibbs was glad to have him so close still. Almost losing him had made certain things come to light that should have been dealt with months ago. There was no time like the present, or so Ducky said. As with most things, the old man was right though.

Heading up to bed, instead of down to the basement for the second night in a row felt off. Rarely did Jethro Gibbs just sleep without completely exhausting himself first. He supposed the break from routine had something to do with the young man sleeping in one of his guest rooms. Tony said he was alright, Ducky confirmed that yes, physically "young Anthony is, not fine, but well on his way", and Tony acted more like himself this evening. Still, something was gnawing at Gibbs' gut. He would be willing to bet the boat that Tony wasn't as "fine" as he claimed.

Mulling that over while he brushed his teeth, Gibbs decided not to push and let Tony come to him. Surely the stubborn kid had sense enough to know he couldn't deal stuff like this on his own. Well, he was referring to DiNozzo after all.

"Gibbs?"

Placing his tooth brush back into the protective casing, Gibbs turned toward Abby. She was wearing the purple silk pajamas with black and silver skulls on them that Tony had given her as a birthday present. Only Abby.

"I thought you were already in bed, Abs."

"I was, but then I started thinking about Tony. He hasn't really said anything about what happened."

Gibbs leaned against the bathroom door facing and sighed. He had noticed that, too.

"I think maybe he's still processing the whole ordeal. And I'm hoping he's relying on his training to get him though some of this. Don't forget that, Tony, as goofy and childish as he sometimes acts, is a highly trained federal agent."

"I'm not disagreeing, but you have to realize that while he's trained for this stuff, he's also human and more vulnerable than he lets on. I just worry, Gibbs."

Gibbs kissed the top of her head and smiled. Abby had the biggest heart in the world.

"I know you do, but he's got us. We'll take care of him, Abs."

Nodding her head in agreement, Abby made her way back to bed, satisfied that Gibbs had things well under control. After turning down the bed and flipping on the bedside lamp, Gibbs decided to check on Tony one last time.

Peeking into the bedroom that held so many memories, he let his eyes adjust to the dark and the slumbering figure in the bed. The blankets were askew, no doubt kicked sideways by Tony moving about in his sleep. After righting them and tucking them back around his Senior Field Agent, Gibbs paused to take in the scene. For the moment, Tony seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

Heading back to his own bedroom, Gibbs resolved to keep a closer watch on the kid. If Abby felt something was hinky, it usually was. He wasn't about to borrow trouble though. Especially for Tony. The boy was so guarded under normal circumstances, the old marine couldn't imagine what it would be like extracting information from the kid now.

"Sleep well, Tony"

Gibbs had been in that weird state between sleep and wakefulness when he heard it. Was it whimpering? Moaning? Thrashing? Tony! He was having a nightmare. Jumping out of bed, Gibbs darted out of his bedroom and into the hallway, sliding into Tony's room just as Abby rushed out of her own room, both in a state of mild panic.

Coming to a stop at the side of Tony's bed, Gibbs knew better than to touch him. That might startle the kid even more.

"Tony! TONY!"

Nothing was working. Deciding to go against his better judgement, Gibbs reached out and placed a hand on Tony's forehead.

Tony bolted out of bed with a pitiful yelp, trying in vain to protect himself from some unseen threat.

"Tony, it's alright. You're okay, bud. It was just a dream."

The heavy breathing worried Gibbs. As did the trembling. This wasn't just a run of the mill nightmare. This had shaken the kid to his core. Reaching for Tony's hand, Gibbs found them to be clammy and cold.

Abby scooted closer to him, Gibbs noticed, wrapping her arm around his back, offering whatever comfort she could. Whatever comfort he would allow.

"Tony? Are you with us?"

The flinch was surprising, but not all together unexpected given the circumstances. Gibbs was still concerned enough to want to dig deep into whatever was troubling his SFA.

"I'm good now. I'm fine. You can go back to bed."

"Like hell! That looked like one hell of a nightmare, son. I'm not going to just leave you to it."

"Why not? After what you said to McGee, I don't see why you care."

"What are you talking about? What I said to McGee."

"It's nothing, never mind."

Abby tightened her hold on him as he tried to get up.

"Tony, don't leave. Let's talk about this."

"It's fine, Abs. It's nothing."

"It isn't fine, Tony. It's bothering you."

Gibbs watched as Tony turned away from his best friend, trying to avoid the obvious. What had he said to McGee that upset Tony so much? Well, Tony wasn't talking. He would just have to ask Tim the next time he saw him. Tomorrow maybe.


	4. Chapter 4

/- **Found Chap. 4**

How stupid could he be? Had he really said that? He didn't remember saying that. Hell, after they found Tony relatively safe and unharmed his brain had gone from being in overdrive to giving in to the exhaustion it felt. That wasn't an excuse though. What he'd said was cruel and all together uncalled for. Damn it, Tony had already been on unsteady ground; that careless comment just made it worse. Now he had no clue how to fix the mess he had created. Well, he hadn't exactly created the mess that was Tony's psyche, but he surely hadn't helped clean it up with that stupid, stupid comment.

He could hear Ducky's voice in his head reaming him out for his thoughtless words toward a young man who clearly needed a gentler touch. Why did he always seem to do the wrong thing where Tony was concerned? That was a question for later; right now, he had fix this mess with Tony before he lost the kid completely. Punching the elevator button and heading to the morgue, Jethro Gibbs, for the first time in a long time, felt lost.

"What the hell's the matter with you, you idiot?"

Tony had his own insecurities to deal with, he sure didn't need Gibbs airing any of his now. It was such a fine like he had to walk with Tony. Offering any type of affection or comfort was often met with skepticism, while casual indifference was preferred most of the time. Usually, that was just fine with Gibbs. He wasn't good at all that emotional crap anyway. This wasn't the usual though. Gibbs had begun seeing the cracks in his agent's armor months ago. He just wasn't sure what to do about it. Tony would never let anyone get close enough to help him.

"Duck, we've got a problem."

"No, Jethro, you have a problem. I warned you to tread carefully with him."

"I listened!"

"Not well enough it would seem. Whatever possessed you to say something so harsh to that boy? You know how insecure he is normally."

"I don't even remember saying it, Duck."

"Well, regardless of what you recall, it's clear young Anthony remembers it all too well."

"How do I fix this?

"You can't. You told the lad, in not so many words, that you, and in turn the team, were better off with him dead! Have you any idea what kind of damage you've done to him? He trusted you, Jethro, not to hurt him. He put his faith in you in hopes that you wouldn't be like his father."

"I'm not like his father! From what I've gathered, that man didn't even deserve the damn title."

"You don't know how right you are, my friend."

"What do I do now?"

"You beg and plead with him to forgive you. You try your hardest to convince him that you were out of your head with worry. You tell him that while you are a wonderful person, you are also emotionally constipated and haven't the foggiest idea as to how to relate him about anything that isn't work."

Gibbs sighed and leaned up against the wall. This was such a clusterfuck and it was entirely his fault. He was a grade A bastard at the best of times. Everyone knew that. Why had Tony thought he would be anything else?

"Maybe because he needed you to be something else. He needed an anchor to hold and you shoved him away."

Determined to fix this, Gibbs slipped out of the morgue and headed back to the bullpen. He needed to have a conversation with his Senior Agent. He needed to get himself under control first, though. Tony was bound to be unsettled after all this. Gibbs wanted to be on an even plain when they talked. He had already messed up with Tony once this week in a big way. He didn't need to do it again now.

Slipping into the bullpen and over to his desk, Gibbs sat and glanced out at his team. Kate, methodically scanning cold case files, McGee, typing away on the computer re-running some financials and DiNozzo…was gone?

"Where the hell is DiNozzo?"

Kate and McGee shared a knowing glance that didn't escape Gibbs notice.

"Kate?"

"He found something in one of his cold case files. He said he was going to check it out."

"Neither of you bothered to go with him?"

"He said he was fine on his own, Gibbs. Tony's a good agent, he'll be alright."

Tony was an exceptional agent, but he still needed someone to watch his back. After getting no answer on the phone, Gibbs dialed Abby and had her trace Tony's cell phone. Grabbing his coat and the file Tony had been reading, Jethro Gibbs darted out of the building and toward Tony.

"What did you find, Tony?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Found Chap. 5**

Gibbs pulled up behind Tony's car and cut the engine. Glancing around, there seemed to be nothing and no one around the small log cabin. Checking his weapon, Gibbs exited the car and scanned the woods behind the dilapidated cabin. Nothing seemed amiss. According to the file he had read on the drive up, the missing sailor had been bragging about a cabin hidden in the forest. The cabin had never been located and the sailor never found.

"What brought you all the way out here, Tony?"

Pushing the cabin door open, Gibbs cleared the room before moving throughout the rest of the cabin. If Tony had been in the cabin, he had left nothing to say so. Still, Gibbs set about investigating the cabin, looking for any clues as to why his SFA would be here. Assuming this was the missing sailors cabin, how did Tony find it? And why now, almost six years after the guy went missing? More importantly, why had Burley not found this information when he had been Gibbs SFA?

"Come on, Tony! Give me something, kid."

Grabbing his cell phone, the team leader punched Tony's speed dial number and waited. Finally, after what felt like a thousand years, he heard Tony's voice for the first time in hours.

"Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo!"

"Where the hell are you? And don't tell me the cabin. I've searched the cabin and you're definitely not here!"

"You're here? Like here here?"

"Yes, Tony! But you're not."

"Oh, I'm here, Boss. Walk out back."

Gibbs slammed his phone shut and stomped out back, ready to chew his SFA a new one. Why couldn't Tony just do as he was told? He always had to test the limits. Of course, Ducky would theorize that, "Young Anthony is simple trying to see how far you'll let him go before you bring him back. Why, I imagine, Jethro, given what we know of his childhood, the lad is testing you and your commitment to him. I would hazard a guess that his own father never had time or patience for such matters", and Gibbs was willing to bet anything that Ducky was right.

"DiNozzo!"

"Right here, Boss."

As soon as his eyes caught up with him, Gibbs recognized the bundle of cash in Tony's hand. Why would Tony be holding thousands of dollars bundled in his hand?

"It would seem that our missing sailor, who is coincidentally, not missing anymore, his remains are down under, was the one to make off with several hundred thousand dollars of the U.S. governments money a few years back."

"So, you're telling me, that Max Carelli is in the cellar dead?"

"According to the dog tags beside what's left of him. Once we get him back home, I think Ducky can confirm that. Or disprove that. Either way, we need to contact Agent Williams. She's been looking for this money for a while. If, of course, this is what I think it is. You might want to call McGee and get him out here. He's much better at this than I am, apparently."

Gibbs supposed he deserved that. Right now, he thought maybe he deserved anything Tony wanted to dish out.

"I called Ducky and Abby. Ducky should be here within the hour. Abby is running some of the serial numbers from the stash of cash down stairs. Maybe we'll solve two cases before the days out."

Gibbs watched as Tony disappeared back down the cellar stairs.

"Tony damn it!"

Not knowing why he was angry at Tony, Gibbs followed the stubborn agent down the stairs.

"You could have said something to one of us about where you were going. Hell, you could have asked any one of us to come with you. We're a week away from almost losing you. What were you thinking deciding back up wasn't necessary?"

"I was thinking that no one cared anyway so why waste their time?"

Tony started photographing the body and the weapon beside it. Gibbs thought about asking if he had taken pictures of the money before he touched it, but thought better of it. Tony might act like a randy teenager most of the time, but he had always done his job to a remarkable extent.

"What can I do?"

"I'm just finishing up. You can take off. Ducky will be here in a few minutes."

"I'm not leaving you here."

"Afraid I'll fuck up the scene? You're right, McGee would do a better job, but right now, I'm all you've got."

Gibbs sat on the steps and cursed himself.

"You can't tell me you think Max Corelli did all this by himself?"

"Nope. I think his girlfriend at the time, Nina Perez, helped him. I've got Abby looking for her now. According to the file, Burley interviewed her twice when Max disappeared. Nothing every came of it."

"Did you memorize the entire file?"

"The first time I read it."

"Is that how you knew how to find the cabin?"

Gibbs watched as Tony put the camera back in the bag. He didn't look agitated or angry. If anything, he just looked resigned.

"Max mentioned to several friends before he disappeared that he had to check on his aunt Linda. Well, I checked on any aunt Linda he might have. Turns out she's been dead for just over a decade. Her ashes are upstairs in the den. Max's step-mother let that little tidbit slip when I talked to her on the phone this morning. Now, tell me, Boss, why would he need to check on his deceased aunt? I just kind of figured it was worth a shot. Though I didn't expect to find all that money. It disappeared over a three-year period."

"You think the girlfriend killed him?"

"I do."

"I think you're right."

The hesitant smile on the kid's face was heart wrenching. He would have to fix that. When Tony smiled it was normally this giant toothy smile that lit up the world. Gibbs decided he wanted that Tony back.

"I'm going to meet Ducky."

"Yeah, I just heard him pull up."

Of course, he did. Would Tony ever cease to amaze him?


	6. Chapter 6

**Found Chap. 6**

Gibbs watched as each and every member of his team finished for the day and left. Eventually the only people left in the bullpen were Gibbs himself and Tony, who was still checking and rechecking his report on Max Carelli and all that damn money. As predicted, Tony had been right about the girlfriend. After too many double crosses to count she had finally shot Max before being spooked by what she assumed was someone following her. She had planned to return for the money when she felt safer.

"Bout done?"

Without even looking up from his computer, Tony held up one finger and motioned for quiet. His eyes never left the report. Enough was enough. The damn kid had revised the stupid report seven times already! Why was Tony suddenly so particular about his work? Surely that asinine comment hadn't done that much damage? Had it? According to Ducky, yes it had.

"Tony, the report is fine."

"Yes, but is it as good as McGee's?"

Gibbs let his head fall back so that it rested against his chair. What could he say that would make this okay?

Coming to a conclusion, Gibbs reached for his coat and stood in front of Tony's desk waiting for a response from the kid.

"Grab your stuff, you're done for the night. The report can wait, Tony."

Gibbs saw the exhaustion warring with the want to finish the report and officially close the case. Eventually, closing the case won out. Gibbs simply waited for him to finish. Waited and watched. Had Tony always been so methodical?

"Grab your coat. You're with me."

"I think I'm just going to head to my place. I'm exhausted, Boss."

"That's why you're not driving. We're off rotation tomorrow and the next day. Rest, relax."

"That's why I'm heading out. See you, Boss."

Not deterred, Gibbs followed his SFA to his car where the kid sat for several minutes without moving. If Gibbs gut was correct, and it usually was, Tony wasn't sleeping. Nightmares? Insomnia? Either way, Gibbs was certain he was at least one cause of those sleepless nights.

Reaching for the keys, Tony didn't even protest when Gibbs hefted him out of the car and into his own, handing off Tony's keys to Abby.

"It's a sleepover, Tonyboy!"

Gibbs noted that Tony, as tired as he was, didn't dampen Abby's excitement. Instead he encouraged it all the way to little pizza place both of them loved. Watching Abby dart in to get the food, Gibbs turned to Tony and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry."

"I heard you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I'm still not 100% sure I'm not. You think apologies are a sign of weakness."

"Not when I screwed up. Tony, I never meant to upset you. I messed up. I never should have said anything like that. I don't even remember saying it. I can't tell you why I said it. I can tell you that I was so afraid we wouldn't find you in time. When we finally did find you, I was just...useless. Tony, I was so damn relieved that you were there goading me I could have said anything."

"But you didn't say anything. You said, "Tony, you're irreplaceable", the you turned to McGee and said, "Forget it McGee, he's still alive", the entire time never even asking if I was okay."

Gibbs had never been so perturbed to see Abby before. He was certain the moment was gone, to be replace by the best smelling pizza in the D.C. area. Hopping in the back, Abby set the pizzas down in the backseat beside her and reached over the head rest to squeeze Tony into an awkward hug.

"I told you not to upset him, Gibbs."

"I tried not to, Abs."

Starting the car, Gibbs drove them to his place, knowing that with Abby as a buffer, he and Tony could work through anything. Tony trusted Abby to keep his secrets and she trusted him not to sugar coat things just for her.

By the time the pizza had been devoured and the beer drank, Gibbs felt ready enough to confront his own stupidity again. He just hoped Tony would be willing to hear him out. As he cleaned up the remnants of the pizza feast, Tony and Abby both showered and changed into something more comfortable. Once they were situated on the couch trying to decide which movie to watch, Gibbs showered and changed as well.

Finding Abby running her fingers through Tony's hair was almost unnerving. He hadn't realized Tony was still so distraught. Tony was pale…and trembling. He had been gone for twenty minutes tops. What had happened to make his Senior Agent behave in such a way?

"Abby, what happened?"

Abby adjusted the blanket that now covered Tony and shook her head.

"Apparently Tony's father saw something on the news about his trek through the sewers. He called while you were in the shower. He was giving Tony hell. He's not a nice person Gibbs."

Gibbs wanted to let instinct take over, but he was unsure if Tony would let him do that. He was amazed that Tony had let Abby see him so troubled. He must really be off his game. Finally giving in to the instincts of the father he once was, Gibbs rubbed Tony's back and asked quiet questions, trying to determine exactly what the conversation entailed. Not getting very far, Gibbs decided to let the subject drop for now and instead focused his energy into getting Tony into bed.

"Abby, I'll stay with him. Why don't you head to bed?"  
"No. I'm airing up your air mattress and sleeping at the foot of the bed."

"Abs, Tony wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable just because of him."

"Not because of him, Gibbs, for him. Besides, I slept on this mattress for three nights when I took it camping."

"Hand me the pump. Go grab the sheets and pillows."

As Gibbs pumped, he considered the situation. He had to fix this. He had to find a way to let Tony know that regardless of what transpired between them, Gibbs would always be there, for anything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Found Chap. 7**

Jethro Gibbs watched as Tony sat trembling, wrapped up his blankets, trying to hide the wetness on his cheeks. The whispered apologies tore at his heart. The wrongness of the entire situation hit him like a ton of bricks. Making up his mind, Gibbs tossed all his doubt out the window and pulled Tony closer. The kid would just have to be embarrassed later. Right now, he needed to know someone was on his side.

"I've got you, Tony. It's ok, kiddo. You're alright, bud."

Gibbs felt Tony fighting with himself. The boy wanted the comfort that he'd been denied for so long, but he had no clue what to do once he finally had it. Slowly, Tony started to relax into the hug. When the tears stopped and Tony tried to pull away with a litany of apologies, Gibbs held on, not letting him go.

"Don't pull away until you're ready."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"I did. Tony, I can't watch you fall apart and do nothing. Abby, why don't you go grab us something to drink?"

Squeezing Tony into a quick hug, Abby slipped out the bedroom door and down the stairs, while Gibbs tried to convince him that his mini breakdown was actually expected given what he'd been through.

"When I was missing, I knew you were looking for me. I knew it. I never doubted that. Then when we got back and you said that to Tim, I didn't know what to think."

Gibbs mentally kicked himself again for that ill thought out comment. Whatever relationship that might have been building between he and Tony had been shattered in that one breath.

"Why did you make me think you cared and then rip it all away?"

"I'm not good with emotions. That is no excuse for what I said though. My insecurities should never have kicked yours into overdrive. I need you to be angry about that, Tony. I need you to understand that I was wrong. Why aren't you pissed that I made you feel so terrible?"

"I guess I just kind of expect that from people."

Gibbs knew why Tony expected people to let him down, but it didn't make hearing it any easier. Right then and there, Jethro Gibbs vowed to change Tony's way of thinking. It was just wrong that Tony, of all people, felt that way. Goofy, laughing, Tony should never _expect_ to be disappointed.

Before they could finish the conversation, Abby bounced back into the room with drinks. She had the absolute worst timing! Gibbs would have talk to her about that. Now though, he needed to get Tony settled and hopefully, back to bed.

"Thanks, Abbs. Apparently, crying all over your boss really takes it out of you."

Gibbs smirked. Some of the old Tony was shining through.

"The past two weeks have taken it out of you, Tony. Give yourself time to process that."

"Abby, Bizzaro Gibbs is back. I'm convinced he's the victim of an alien abduction. What say you?"

"Well, he has been acting funny lately."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and sighed. It was sad that Tony saw his attempt to comfort him as strange. That would have to change. Gibbs would have to change, he realized, if he wanted to regain Tony's trust. Changing too much, though, would leave Tony reeling. Gibbs had to talk to Ducky about all of this.

"Maybe I just realized some things had to change. Nothing alien about that."

Gibbs watched as Tony digested that bit of information and sighed into the bed. Exhaustion was warring with the need to avoid more nightmares. How long had the nightmares been a part of Tony's life?

"Go to sleep, Tonyboy. We'll be here."

"I don't want to wake either of you up again."

"Tony just let us take care of this for a while. Get some rest."

"Ok, but don't get pissed at me when I wake you up."

Gibbs watched as Abby tucked the blankets back around Tony and snuggled down beside him, protective as always. When she was certain Tony was asleep, she turned to Gibbs and glared at him.

"What did I do?"

"You have to fix this."

"I'm working on it. He doesn't make it easy."

"Tony's worth it."

"I agree."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey y'all! Yes, I'm finally posting again. I know its been too damn long since I last posted anything. Sorry about that. Life…just got in the way.**

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not a patient man by any stretch of the imagination. He wanted things done when he wanted them done. On his time table, no one else's. That was just the way he was. Changing now seemed futile. Besides, everyone knew he was a bastard on his best days and an even bigger asshole on his bad days. His conversation with Ducky had opened his eyes to some truths though. If he was honest with himself, they were truths he'd known all along. Admitting them now brought out the bear in him.

Seeing the dark circles that still rimmed his Senior Field Agents eyes didn't help his patience and noticing the weight loss did nothing for his already sour mood. What the hell did Tony want from him? He had apologized, several times, in fact and Tony had said nothing. He had just sighed patiently and assured his grizzly bear of a boss that everything was fine. It wasn't. Nothing about this whole mess was fine. Tony was quietly falling apart right in front of them and he said nothing.

Finally catching a break when Tony headed for the head, Gibbs felt two sets of worried eyes on him. Realizing they were looking to him for guidance as to how to proceed with the situation, he looked at them and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing was forthcoming, though. They knew what he knew. Tony was not alright, and it was partially his fault.

Kate, trained as she was, picked up on the tension with not only Tony, but the entire situation. McGee, never what one would call a slacker, quickly followed. They might give each other hell most of the time, but when one of them was in trouble, the others always stepped up.

"Its been almost two weeks, Gibbs. He isn't eating. He sure isn't sleeping. He's working himself into the ground. Something must be done. We've all tried to talk to him. He listens to you, Gibbs."

Neither one of them added that they were all worried because Tony had listened to him so well that evening after he'd been found. Damn it! He still couldn't recall saying that. He remembered returning to HQ with Tony, then putting the finishing touches on the case. _Forget it McGee, he's still alive._ What kind of person said those things? He knew Tony was insecure on his good days. Speaking of Tony, where the hell was he?

Rising from his seat, Gibbs turned toward the bathroom, in search of his best agent. What a clusterfuck! Pushing the door open, Gibbs found who he had been looking for, sitting on the hard tile floor, head thrown back against the wall, breaths coming in short, quick bursts as he clenched and unclenched his hands. Tony DiNozzo was having an anxiety attack.

Reaching for his phone, he quickly dialed Ducky and knelt in front of Tony. Placing his hands on either side of the younger man's face, Gibbs tilted the chestnut head downward, so their eyes met. The moment blue connected to that magnificent green, he started talking.

"Breath, Tony. Deep breaths."

It wasn't working, Tony was still too pale and clammy. His breaths to choppy. Finally deciding to change positions, Jethro maneuvered himself behind his Senior Agent, wrapping his arms around the distraught kid, Gibbs pulled himself up, so he was flush against Tony's quacking back.

"Match my breathing, kiddo. Slow and steady. That's it, son. You're doing great."

The wheezing was almost under control by the time Ducky arrived. Tony was still sweaty and shaky, though. His entire body trembled with the effort it took to hold himself together while Ducky examined him, finally proclaiming him physically healthy.

"Anthony, I'm quite certain you experienced a mild anxiety attack. Have you ever experienced anything like this before?"

The affirmative nod confirmed Ducky's suspicions. The boy had known enough to get away from prying eyes the moment he felt himself losing his composure. The fact that he didn't feel comfortable enough to let his team know of his predicament spoke volumes about his lack of trust in them.

"Jethro, take him home, get him settled."

"No, I'm fine now. Just a minor setback."

Rising to his feet, Tony splashed cold water on his gaunt face and prepared himself to face the world again. It wouldn't do for Kate and McGee to see him like this. Hell, he was worried about Gibbs and Ducky seeing him like this. What would they think of him? Would they wonder about his sanity? Would Gibbs deem him unfit for duty? God, the world was spinning again. The darkness was closing in now.

"Tony! Duck grab him. Come on, Tony, easy does it. Just lean on me."

Gibbs didn't know how long he sat there, with Tony's back pressed against his chest, the kids head tilted back on his shoulder and he didn't care. Finally, when Tony's breathing came to a manageable level, he breathed a sigh of relief himself. Rubbing his up and down Tony's chest, Gibbs quietly laid out his plan to Tony.

"First, we're going to get us both off the floor, then we're going to get you steady on your feet. Once I'm sure you're good to go, I'm taking you home. You're going to rest, eat, and when you're ready, we're going to talk about this."

"Didn't think you were much of a talker, Boss."

Ducky eyed him knowingly.

"I am when its important. Now, are you ready to stand?"

The nod was all Ducky needed to bounce into action. Taking Tony's arm, he gently helped the younger agent stand, never letting go of him.

"Jethro go get your car. I'll get Anthony sorted and ready to go."

Gibbs started to protest but thought better of it when he saw Tony flagging. The boy needed to be home, where he could rest, where Gibbs could keep an eye on him.

"Now, young man, tell me, what brought this on?"

Tony shook his head and shoved his hands through his hair. Ducky would think he was a basket case if he knew the truth.

"Anthony, you can tell me. I'm sure, I have some idea, but I would like to hear it from you."

Tony leaned against the sink and hung his head.

"I don't sleep anymore, Ducky. When I do manage to fall asleep, I have nightmares about being in that damn sewer. Sometimes I can still smell it. I can't eat. I'm just too exhausted to even think about eating. I get to work and its like finally a break. I can concentrate on something other than that damn sewer."

"What happened today?"

"I looked at Gibbs and heard him tell McGee to _forget it,_ again. I hear that in my dreams all the time, Ducky. I just thought maybe he was different."

Ducky, for his part, considered homicide. Oh, it would be completely justifiable, no doubt. Leroy Jethro Gibbs should have his backside handed to him for this. He knew of the boy's numerous insecurities and he'd played on them. Not intentionally, Ducky was sure, still though, the cruelty was there.

"He is different, lad. You and I both know he doesn't handle fear and worry very well. He's like a bear with a thorn in his paw. Give him a chance to make this right."

Tony wasn't sure anything could make this right. What could Gibbs do or say that would make up for the horrible things he'd said? Besides, growing up with Anthony Sr. had given him a resiliency not many people had. It had also given him major insecurities and terrible nightmares, but no one needed to know that. No one needed to know that Gibbs was the only steady male figure he had ever had in his life. Nope, time to grow a set, Tony and deal with this like a man.

"Sure Ducky."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

Gibbs tossed the sand paper onto the bench and sipped his coffee. With Tony fed and encased in softest blanket in the house napping upstairs, he could let himself relax enough to think about his next move. Obviously, the stubborn kid needed to talk to someone about this. Tony had been cleared by the department shrink, though, so she was out of the question. It was no fault of hers that Tony could talk his way into and out of almost anything. That just left a therapist independent of NCIS.

Draining his coffee, Gibbs smiled. He knew just the person. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed the familiar number. Hannah Leary was the best therapist in the D.C. area. And Jethro Gibbs just happened to be dating her. Tony would _love_ that. His overactive imagination combined with his rapid-fire brain would have a field day with it. Chuckling, Gibbs left a message for Hannah and headed back upstairs to check on the young man currently sacked out on his couch.

After popping his head into the living room, Gibbs found Tony sitting up on the couch wrapped in that damn blanket watching the History channel. With his rumpled clothes and bed head hair, Tony looked more like a kid home sick from school than a highly trained federal agent. Gibbs mind immediately went to Kelly. Had she been through the trauma Tony was still fighting, he'd wrap her up and shield her from the world. Had someone talked to her the way he had talked to Tony, he'd murder them. Damn it! Did he have to look so fucking lost sitting there?

"How long was I out?"

Not surprised that Tony knew he was there, Gibbs slipped into the room and sat on the couch beside him. There was so much the two of them needed to talk about, but Tony needed to be on steady ground first.

"Almost three hours. Do you feel any better?"

"A little, I guess. Why were you watching me?"

"Honestly, I was thinking about Kelly."

"I made you think of her?"

"Yep."

"I'm sorry. I should go."

"Tony…why has no one bothered to check on you? Your father called one time and according to Abby, that didn't end well."

"My father and I aren't exactly close. I'm the family disappointment."

"So, what, he just doesn't care that you're going through hell?"

"As long as I don't fuck up the family name, he pretty much leaves me to my own devices. It's better that way."

"Tony someone should care that you're not ok. Someone does care."

"Look, Gibbs, it's fine."

"You're not fine. This case messed with your head."

"I was cleared by the shrink already."

"Tony, just because you talked yourself out of therapy doesn't mean you don't need it. Don't say anything, just listen. I don't think this case is the only thing bothering you. I think it brought up some unpleasant memories that you have yet to confront. I think my insensitive comments only made your reaction worse. I can't tell you how to feel or that everything will fine. I can say how sorry I am that I hurt you. That was never my intention, son."

Gibbs watched as Tony digested the apology. This time the kid didn't brush it aside. He actually seemed to listen. Whether or not he chose to believe it was another matter entirely. Still, this was a start.

"Can I ask you something?"

The query was so quiet, Gibbs almost didn't hear it.

"Anything."

"Why do you keep bringing me back here? I get that you want to keep an eye on me right now. My head is all over the place, but you don't have to bring me back to your house."

"Do you want to be somewhere else?"

"No! I just…after what you said, I didn't think you really wanted me around. It's nothing personal. People just get tired of me. I'm kind of annoying."

"Never have I thought that about you. I have thought that you are smart, intuitive, hardworking, funny; even a little weird at times, but then my team is made up of people just this side of normal. I like it that way. Different perspectives solve cases. We have the highest closure rate at NCIS for a reason."

"And I'm screwing it up with my issues."

"No, you're just hurting yourself by not dealing with them. I want you to think about something."

"You want me to see a therapist."

Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's bouncing knee and rubbed his thumb back and forth as he spoke.

"I think you should talk to someone. I don't mind being an open ear, but I don't think I can be objective where you're concerned."

"Anyone in particular you have in mind?"

"Her name is Hannah. She specializes in trauma cases. Most of her clients are military or law enforcement."

"Is she the woman you've been seeing?"

"Yes, she is! How the hell did you know?"

"The purple tooth brush in the bathroom. Unless you've developed a new favorite color, there's definitely a woman involved."

"I think it would be beneficial to you if you saw someone. If you're not comfortable seeing Hannah, I'll help you find someone else. I just want you to be ok, Tony."

Tony thought about it. Even after the ill-timed comments, Gibbs had consistently tried to do the right thing. The older man had taken him into his home and cared for him unlike anything Tony had ever experienced. Maybe that stupid comment was just that. Or maybe Gibbs really meant it.

"When do I meet her?"

"I left her a message about having dinner later tonight."

"What does she know about me?"

"Just that you've been through the ringer. That you're having a hard time dealing with this ordeal. That you're my best agent. That you keep me on my toes constantly."

"Just that?"

"Yeah, just that."

The small smile was everything to Gibbs. It wasn't the megawatt Tony DiNozzo can conquer the world smile, but it was a start. Now to start getting weight back on him and the insomnia under control.

"You were working on the boat?"

"I came up for more coffee."

"Want some company?"

Gibbs rubbed his big hand across the broad shoulders and marveled at Tony's ability to forgive.

"Always."


End file.
